Intention and individuation

March has arrived. Here in the northern hemisphere, we have celebrated the Spring Equinox, which brings lovely weather and more light energy to energise us.

Did anyone feel strange things during this equinox period? I have had some interesting conversations with people about our experiences.

Have you set your Spring Intentions?

Intention is an interesting concept. When first introduced to it, I, of course, failed miserably.
The words of wisdom given to me were - to empower myself and my life and set intentions. Make things happen. Manifest Abundance!
I did. I genuinely tried from the depths of my heart. Nothing.

I began to wonder, is this a real thing?
Maybe only special people can genuinely do it.
Was it just a fad or a trend? Something that people follow but that has no context?
What exactly is this intention thing? What does it mean?

Let us begin with a simple example.

I had a male German Shepherd called Fluffy Duffy. He had the natural ability to either melt your heart or scare you. He was very vocal and had lots to say, everyone always knew where I was. We had been learning the 'wait' command in dog training - he was about two years old. The 'wait' is like telling someone to freeze, where the dog should freeze like ice. They cannot move until they are unfrozen or released from the command.

One day, I took the opportune time to practice 'wait' with Duffy. We were outside the kitchen door in the garden. "Duffy wait" I declared whilst putting my palm up and giving the hand signal. Duffy obediently froze. Just like ice, his eyes did not leave me. I was so pleased. I walked here, I walked there, I walked here, and still, Duffy was frozen - not moving a muscle. I jumped for joy "Good boy Duffy", I exclaimed, releasing the command. Duffy promptly turned and went round the corner to his ball. What? I thought? Typically, when we finished, we would have a cuddle celebration. I had the impression that Duffy had been focused on the practice, but all the time, his mind was on his ball. So, when I said "Good boy", Duffy thought "Great! I can finally get my ball after the long wait. Gemma was obviously confused and unsure of where she wanted to go?".

In this example, I thought the intention was the exercise, but in reality, the whole time, Duffy had his mind on a ball that I could not see (unconscious) in my mind or sight (conscious). When setting an intention, the heart (Duffy) and mind (Gemma) should be aligned and in agreement. Otherwise, the intention will be just as confused as I was in my example. 

- Do you know who you are? I am not talking about the roles you play.
- What makes you feel alive? Like a fire burning inside, igniting your passions and inspirations.
- Are you living in flow? Are your days flowing like a river or challenged by an obstacle course?
- Are you content? A feeling of stillness with calm and alive.
- Are you expressing who you are?
- Do you wake feeling confident about what the day will bring?

Many go through their lives trying to be the person they believe they should be. They follow expectations set by others, whether from family, friends, or cultural norms and often feel pressured to live according to these standards.

There are many lessons on the path towards individuation. But what does individuation mean?

The term individuation comes from Carl Jung in the 1950s when words like "purpose, meaning, and self" were popular. Many great authors wrote books on topics related to these words, such as Carl Jung, Alfred Adler, and Victor Frankl, to name a few. It's as if following the Industrial Revolution when structure and sameness were prominent, people began to question things. Industrialisation wasn't the only movement putting things into a structure, with exploration many different cultures were discovered and forced to be like the culture that 'found' them. For thousands of years, people who were different were killed, burned or ostracised all around the world and within various cultures.

In the 1950s, significant changes emerged as people became more open to embracing differences and expressing themselves authentically. This era gave birth to influential figures such as Joseph Campbell and Alan Watts, who brought their insights, myths and personal development while bridging the gap between Eastern and Western philosophies. Many anthropologists travelled to different cultures to understand their ways of living—some with closed minds, while others gained insight into such diversity. People like Carlos Castaneda, Margaret Mead, Jane Goodall and Gregory Bateson, all made significant impacts from different areas.

When Carl Jung speaks of individuation, he refers to the transformation of a person to become their whole self - including the invisible and visible parts. While many are familiar with his concept of shadow work, few realise that it also encompasses the anima and animus, representing the feminine and masculine aspects.

Part of my individuation journey involved my accepting my unusual self. When I say unusual, I mean the parts of myself that I found challenging and yet others would do the same thing with ease. A clinical psychologist told me I was eccentric, which I'm proud to share. Now that I understand the meaning of eccentric, I realise it is a part of my uniqueness. 

Apart from my complicated eccentric parts, I also learned that the choices I was making meant I was wading against a strong current. I needed to start making choices that would lift my heart, not my ego, and not what society, culture, or other expectations wanted from me. Many did not understand the choices I was making in my life. I had to ignore their judgments. Judgments aren’t bad; they acknowledge differences. In the right environment, they can help people grow.

A good example of my being judged is my eco-friendly ideas of doing things that are more earth-beneficial. Most people think I'm crazy because what I'm doing is different from what 'normal' people do but also because it's the long way around. However, when I practice it and people see physically what I mean, it opens their eyes and minds.

Many changemakers now and throughout history have had to go through the phases of rejection or judgements, perhaps 20 or 100 times. After the initial rejection(s), they have opened new fields of awareness and changed patterns and knowledge.

For changemakers, acknowledging their unique thought patterns is challenging due to the societal and cultural implications, as well as the journey of self-understanding. Historically, being different has always brought challenges, whether an individual or a culture. It is natural to fear differences, as it is important for growth and survival. However, fear causes people to judge others negatively.

We all fear and judge differences or what we don't understand. It is part of our survival. However, survival loses its benefits when we hold onto fear instead of learning and moving forward. Next time you judge or comment on someone, stop yourself and think "Why am I saying this? What scares me? What is different?" Open your mind to differences. Judging is something we all need to work on to build better communities and societies, but mostly to build better selves.

One day I was talking with someone who was telling me about their struggles with Dyslexia and speaking. The way they described it I could relate. I said yes, I get it, it’s like the sentence in your head, the sentence you read, and the sentence you hear yourself say don’t match. They said I had knocked it on the head and described it the best they had heard. Me and this person laughed talking about each of our word mix-ups, sentence confusion and things, and also the look on people's faces when they realised.  These little quirks or extremes within us, are what make us unique and wonderful. It keeps life interesting and exciting.

Setting an intention is a meaningful ritual that involves sincerity and depth. It’s about fully committing yourself to something, rather than just engaging with parts of yourself or half-heartedly. It's a ritual of connection with something more. It is about contributing, being present, and being aligned, right now with yourself and the cosmos.

I've been doing some self-experiments. In one of Deepak Chopra's books, he explains how the thinking mind is just a disturbance. He says when you switch off the thinking mind, much more happens because you give the space for something different. I have been doing the exercises and practising, and it amazes me every time. I am getting better at stopping my chattering monkey and it’s beautiful what comes into the still mind. However, that's for another conversation.

This new moon February 2025, I decided to shed some of my skin (like a snake) and release the beliefs holding me back. I will then be able to embrace spring with a new lightness and energy.  I had 1000 words to say (to the new moon) during my planned new moon fire ritual.

I prepared my fire, lit it and was over the moon (not literally), celebrating that it was my first successful fire. Previously it was quite a challenge for me to create a fire using only items that benefit the earth. However, now I have found eco-friendly fire-lighters - which work like magic. The fire's flames were dancing beautifully. I was so mesmerised and pleased with my achievement, simple things, that I forgot to call in the directions and spirits to join the ritual. I also promptly forgot my 1000 words. I looked at the beautiful fire, with a smirk and said, I did have a lot to tell you, but it's all gone.

Enthusiastically, I had planned how the evening ritual would go, and then in a flash, poof, gone. How many times do I have to say! No expectations! Just be NOW. I had most obviously, not listened to my own words of wisdom. Anyway, I took advantage of this captivating fire and commented to the moon "Let us celebrate my fire success instead".

I mindfully focused on the mesmerising dancing flames and went into a trance-like state. I felt so calm, blissful, and at peace. Then, out of the blue, arrived 1000 words, most of which I hadn't realised were on my mind. Many real things surfaced. It felt brilliant. I ended the ritual with gratitude and a smile (still drunk from the trance), saying to the moon, mmm, perhaps I needed guidance. I cleared everything away and went to bed.

In the morning when I woke, I still had the effects of the calm trance from the previous evening. I spent the day pottering around, I was happy and had no thoughts occupying my mind. I emptied the ash from the incinerator (fire) bin onto the flower bed where I am doing permaculture. Returning the bin to its place, I saw a white stone in the healthy thick grass.  This is not unusual, as Lilly my female German shepherd is stone mad - that is another story. However, this white stone stood out to me, and spoke to me, a gift of guidance from the fire and new moon. Thank you I said, putting it in my pocket. It’s sitting with me now as I write.  

In summary: Intention does exist. When you can do it, it is a genuinely supporting ritual. It empowers you to take the steps and make it happen.

Before it can work, it's good to work on what you want, who you are, and where you want to go. When doing your intention ritual, if you have 10 things on your mind, even if they are hidden they will influence you. Perhaps that doubt, worry, anxiety? Think of these emotions and beliefs as the cords that are weighing down the ability for the intention to set sail.

Like anything, it's a practice that each time, you get better, don't be hard on yourself, enjoy the mistakes - I know I did. You don't go into one practice being a tennis player, the same goes for working with intention, meditation and other such practices.

Importantly, remember, allow yourself to be the imperfectly perfect.