Mental Health
What living with Depression can feel like
“There is hope, even when your brain tells you otherwise.” John Green
Living with depression can feel like moving through life with a heavy weight you cannot put down. Tasks that once felt simple — getting up, opening the curtains, responding to messages, making decisions — can feel overwhelming.
You may:
- Feel tired even after resting
- Find that food barely enters your thoughts
- Lose interest in things you once enjoyed
- Feel disconnected from others or from yourself
- Experience constant self-doubt or self-criticism
- Feel emotionally numb rather than sad
Any task, no matter how big or small, can feel like Sisyphus — the man from Greek mythology — walking up the hill, pushing a boulder.
Depression does not always shout.
Sometimes it whispers:
“What’s the point?”
“I’m a burden.”
“This won’t change.”
These thoughts can feel convincing, especially when energy is low and hope feels distant. Remember, our perception is deeply influenced by our mood and emotions.
The Inner World of Depression
When living with depression, attention often turns inward. Thoughts loop. Memories replay. It can feel as if your worst regrets and painful moments play over and over.
You analyse yourself constantly — what you did wrong, what you should be doing, why you are not “better yet.”
This inward focus is not selfishness. It is survival. When someone is struggling, the mind naturally tries to make sense of pain.
The danger is that this inner world can become a closed system — a box, a deep hole — where the same thoughts reinforce the same feelings. This is why depression can feel so isolating, even when surrounded by people. It can begin to feel hopeless that anything will change.
Why Motivation Feels So Hard
One of the most misunderstood aspects of depression is motivation. People often say, “Just do something,” without realising that depression directly affects energy, drive, and decision-making.
Research shows that emotion plays a central role in decision-making. When emotional processing is impaired — as seen in conditions affecting areas such as the amygdala — people can struggle profoundly to initiate choices or actions. Emotions are not the opposite of reason; they are one of its drivers.
Living with depression can mean:
- Wanting to do things, but feeling unable to start
- Knowing what might help, but feeling blocked
- Feeling guilty for not doing more
It is, however, a catch-22.
Sometimes the most powerful action is not a big change, but tiny continuation — getting out of bed, showering, stepping outside, or simply staying present for one more moment. One small step, taken regularly.
Without judging yourself on the steps — because every step counts as a win.
Living, Not Fighting
Many people approach depression as something to fight, defeat, or eliminate. While treatment and support are important, living with depression often improves when we stop fighting ourselves.
Instead of asking:
“What’s wrong with me?”
Try asking:
“What is my depression asking for?”
Depression can be a signal:
- That something is unsustainable
- That boundaries are needed
- That grief has not been processed
- That life is out of alignment
Listening does not mean giving up.
It means responding with curiosity rather than judgement.
Small Acts Matter
When living with depression, small actions matter more than big plans.
Small acts might include:
- Getting dressed, even if you don’t go out
- Sitting in sunlight for a few minutes
- Sending one message instead of none
- Eating something nourishing
- Doing something repetitive or grounding
- Blasting music, singing, dancing, or even headbanging (heavy metal music dancing)
These actions may feel insignificant, but they interrupt the stillness that depression feeds on. Movement — physical or mental — creates space.
You Are Not Your Depression
One of the most important things to remember when living with depression is this:
Depression is something you experience, not who you are.
Even when it feels all-consuming, it is a state — not an identity. There is still a part of you observing, surviving, and continuing. That part matters.
Progress does not always look like feeling happy. Sometimes it looks like feeling slightly less heavy. Sometimes it looks like staying. Sometimes it looks like noticing a small achievement that brings a quiet smile inside.
Living Forward
Living with depression is not about pretending everything is fine. It is about learning how to live with where you are, while gently moving forward.
Some days will be harder than others. Some days will feel almost normal. Both are part of the process.
If you are living with depression:
- Be patient with yourself
- Measure progress differently, with self-compassion
- Seek support when you can
- Keep doing small things
You only need to take the next step.
Closing Reflection
If this piece reflects something in your own experience, you may wish to consider what support could look like for you at this time — whether that involves speaking with someone you trust, consulting a mental health professional, or allowing yourself greater compassion.
Depression often deepens in silence, but it can soften when met with understanding. You do not have to manage this alone. Seeking support does not diminish your strength; it helps to preserve it. And at times, the most important step is simply giving yourself permission to seek it.
Talking with someone will help you make more sense of things
If you’d like a safe, non-judgemental space to talk, I offer a free 30-minute discovery call.
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